Touch – the language we unlearn and can relearn

There's a language every human masters before learning to speak. A newborn doesn't understand words, but it understands a hand that holds it, an arm that carries it. Touch is the first form of connection in our lives — and one we can always reclaim as adults.

Psychologists now speak of "touch hunger" — a silent need for physical closeness that is often neglected in an increasingly digital society. Yet conscious touch is one of the simplest and most effective means we have to strengthen relationships — with ourselves, with our children, with our partners.

When summer takes its toll on the skin

Summer skin needs more than water

In summer, skin often feels drier than in winter — paradoxical, but easily explained. Sun, heat, more frequent showering, chlorinated or salt water, and air conditioning deplete the skin's moisture faster than it can retain it. Water alone is not enough then: it evaporates without leaving a protective layer.

This is where oil comes in. Almond oil is rich in fatty acids and vitamin E, absorbs quickly, and forms a fine protective film on the skin that retains moisture instead of letting it evaporate. Sesame oil — the traditional carrier oil in Ayurvedic Abhyanga — ideally complements this: it warms, nourishes deeper, and soothes the skin after a long day in the sun.

The science of closeness

What touch does to our nervous system

Touch is not a sentimental gesture, but physiology. A gentle, conscious touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system — the part of our nervous system responsible for rest, digestion, and regeneration, in contrast to the sympathetic nervous system, which keeps us in "fight-or-flight" mode. Heart rate and cortisol levels decrease, oxytocin is released — the hormone that promotes bonding, trust, and a sense of security.

While we believe that closeness is best built through long conversations, our bodies often respond much more directly to something much simpler: a hand on the shoulder, a massage, the conscious application of warm oil to the skin.

"The body often understands this language faster than the mind can analyze it."

The Ayurvedic perspective

Abhyanga — an ancient ritual that strengthens bonds

In the Ayurvedic tradition, which originated in Kerala, South India, there is a specific term for this need: Abhyanga, the ritual self- or partner massage with warm oil — traditionally sesame oil, which in Ayurvedic doctrine is attributed with particularly nourishing and warming effects. Abhyanga has been part of Ayurvedic daily life for thousands of years and was never considered a luxury, but a daily gesture of care, long before anyone invented the word "self-care."

The beauty of Abhyanga is how little it requires. No wellness weekend, no expensive equipment, no hour of time. Ten minutes are enough to bring peace — and to do something good for a relationship, whether with oneself, a child, or a partner.

As children grow older

A bond that grows with you

Children grow bigger, more independent, finding their own way — a good sign and part of healthy growing up. That's precisely why it's worth consciously maintaining small rituals that don't depend on words. A short shoulder massage after a tiring school day, a few minutes with warm oil before bedtime — such moments don't need long conversations to be effective.

They create a bond that grows stronger over the years instead of fading — a quiet, reliable anchor that remains, even when much else changes.

When everyday life is full

Ten minutes that connect

Between work, household, and children, there's often little time left for the partnership itself. That's precisely why a firm, small ritual is worthwhile: ten minutes in the evening, completely without a screen, just hands and some warm oil. It doesn't have to be a long conversation to feel close again.

"Ten minutes of touch with genuine devotion often achieve more than a thousand words."

Not because words are unimportant, but because touch creates exactly the closeness for which there is often no time for long conversations in everyday life — and strengthens the bond a little bit more each time.

The most important thing

Closeness is not a project

What connects all these moments — summer skin, growing children, shared daily life with a partner — is that they are not strengthened by grand gestures, but by small, recurring rituals. Abhyanga is exactly that: a ritual, not a project. You don't have to do it perfectly; you just have to do it regularly.

Perhaps that is the real message: closeness doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes all it takes is ten minutes, some warm oil, and the willingness to truly be present.